Ok, here it goes *big flourish*

the new journal is callipsofacto . Stop on by, have a look, take your shoes off (try not to get the new carpets dirty). Many of you will be getting emails soon about the gmail/aim accounts also. I'm going to keep this one around, in case I decide this was a terrible idea or I get nostalgic and go through old entries (unlikely, I've read them and I always end up thinking 'what a neurotic twit!' But I digress). Hope to see you there.

Yesterday, on a whim, I started gmail, lj, and okcupid accounts under a new user id. I don't have any particular reason to switch; I think I just like the idea of a fresh start.

Does anyone have compelling reasons why I shouldn't start using the new accounts? I'm undecided.

So I was forwarded a poem this morning. A lovely poem. I used to like it (from the New Yorker):

before you reconffigure

mount a scratch monkey.
A dogcow makes
a moof. An aliasing bug
can smash the stack.

Who writes these tunes,
these runes you need
black art to parse?
Don't think it's only

genius (flaming) humor (dry),
a briefcase of cerebral dust.
A hat's a shark fin, and the tilde's dash
is swung;the daughter of the programmer
but got her period.  It's about wetware at last,

and wetware lives in meatspace.

Heather McHugh


This was forwarded to a friend, who offered me the challenge of trying to translate this poem for the benefit of another friend. Now, not being a hacker or coder of any kind, I'm terribly unsuited to the task, but that didn't stop me from exercising my google-fu and making an effort. It took most of the day.

If the analysis seems unusually dumbed down, it's because the person I wrote this for is 69 years old, and until a few months ago his only exposure to the internet was WebTV.

Also, caveat: I know I don't know what I'm talking about. Feel free to add, subtract, and debate, but please don't get mad at me if I misunderstood something and come across as a complete idiot. Even though I spent about 5 hours on this, I almost didn't post it because I'm afraid I got it all wrong.

( that said, here's the dissection )

Hours from move in it takes for house to go from 'awesome toy' to 'pain in the ass': about 24.

We've got a block in the plumbing that has rendered both the bathtub and the toilet unusable. Peter's going to ask his dad to bring the snake over later today. Yay homeownership!

I am thankful P. took a few days off after move in to get stuff like this sorted out.

So this morning I woke up with the following song playing in my head (tune of "Nowhere Man" by the Beatles):

He's a real lawnmower man / Sitting in his lawnmower land / Making all his lawnmower plans / for... lawnmowers?

not sure what's that about.

The way Memorial Day weekend is panning out, it looks like that Saturday will be mostly family and neighbors, and Monday will be for friends. We'll just do an open house kinda thing, where we'll hang out all afternoon and people can pop in when they feel like it.

Movers show up Tuesday at 9am and I'm kinda freaking out about it. It's technically possible to get done what needs done by then, it just seems so... unlikely. Plus things look worse than they really are because the roommates aren't leaving, so large swaths of the house will still be unpacked when the time comes.

Oh, any advice about getting rid of large, broken furniture? We have a loveseat that's so messed up we can't give it away (tried Craigslist and Goodwill), and we don't have a truck. So I can either pay the movers to take it to a place where it can get picked up, have a friend with a truck take it to the dump and pay the dump to take it, or borrow a chainsaw and cut it into pieces small enough to fit into our garbage can. All of those options are annoying and/or expensive. Any other ideas?

We painted the house today. We got there before 8am, and I just got home. The living room is a greyish lavender, the bedroom is green, the office is bright red (with white wainscoting), and the bathroom is a deep gold. We didn't start on the kitchen yet, which will be the same green as the bedroom, and I only primed the front door, which will be dark brick red, along with the shutters. Pics when I get around to it.

In related news, my joints hurt like a motherfucker. I'm the most out of shape I've ever been (which is saying quite a bit for me), and getting up and down the stepladder to paint just broke me.

But it's worth it. I've never been able to paint my walls a color. When I was young we always lived in apartments, and my Dad's houses were always kept neutral for easy resale. So it's thrilling, in a slightly retarded way, just to sit in my house and take in the color on the walls.

I have a tentative date for our housewarming; I'm basically calling it all of memorial day weekend. Some people can make it Saturday and some on Monday; we'll take what we can get. If you can read this, you're invited. If you've got plans memorial day weekend, come see us some other time. We're not going anywhere for a while.

We have a wishlist, for those who are so inclined. I'm going to go collapse now.

But seriously, you should know about this: we don't have the whole story about piracy in Somalia.

Hey look, It's Prozac in musical form!

Howdy!

I'm feeling chipper today. I'm cautiously optimistic that things are moving forward on the house. For about a week, my mortgage broker was stalking me; she emailed or called me just about every day with a new piece of information required or a form that needed signed. Toward the end we were starting to worry we'd be asked to produce recommendation letters from our elementary school teachers, or our sequenced genomes for evaluation.

We signed the bulk of the mortgage paperwork on Monday, and bulk doesn't even begin to describe it. If you've signed a conventional mortgage, you know that it's a hefty waste of a tree. Now add another 50% or so to that because ours is an FHA loan. Now double that, because according to new laws, since Peter and I aren't married, the bank can't let us see one another's financial information, so we each had to sign independent mortgage agreements. We took turn massaging each other's cramped hands later.

Yesterday, hotarugirl  and I celebrated her birthday. We had lunch, briefly went antiquing, then checked into a nice hotel downtown and cuddled in luxury. We had dinner at a restaurant called Ri Ra's (there should be accent marks on the vowels, but I don't know how to make them). It was a nice Irish or faux-Irish pub, and the food was pretty good. Hotarugirl got birthday spankings, and we took advantage of their wacky shower stall setup that had four shower heads: One big 'rainshower' thing at the top, one regular large one, and two waist level-ish jet like ones. Happy birthday, sweetie!

Finally, I haven't commented on a news item in a long time, but I felt the need to point this one out. The Pope has been a real asshole lately. First, he upheld the excommunication of the parents and doctors of a 9 year old girl who had to abort her twin babies to save her life. What really gets my ire up is the reporting from both sources calling what was done to her 'alleged rape' (emphasis mine). When a 9 year old turns up pregnant, there's nothing alleged about it. I would permit a rephrase that indicates that the rapist is allegedly her stepfather, implying it could be someone else, but that little girl did not impregnate herself. *Takes a deep breath* Second, il Papa has drawn criticism for saying that the AIDS epidemic in Africa "cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which can even increase the problem." I'll save my blood pressure and assume you all instantly see how much harm that idiotic statement does.

In light of these recent decisions, I'm upping the Pope's evil status from 'menacingly stupid' to 'actively and single-mindedly visiting suffering on the helpless people most in need of a church's compassion and help.' He should be getting a commendation from Bad Horse any day now.

Good morning friends. Let's start with the good news, eh? We have a purchase agreement for 1927 Lombard!! And it's beautiful, and we can't wait to wrap everything up and start decorating.

Also, Miranda and I went to see the musical Assassins! put on by the civic theatre Thursday, and it was hilarious. Good stuff.

Now the sucky news: we know more about Terri (Peter's mom) and her surprise cancer. It's a rareish form of uterine cancer, so the fact that some of it is stuck to her lung is... not good, to say the least. They do an upper chest scan sometime next week to see how far up it goes. Her bloodwork indicates that they can do the highest level of chemo. Any of you who have had family with cancer know that's as much a curse as a blessing. The family was expecting an estimate of how long Terri has to live, but they won't know that until they see if the chemo helps. If it does, could be years (though even then, probably difficult, painful years), but right now they're expecting the worst.

I'm going to go look at some lolcats. Be right back.

Ahh. That's better. Now, this being lj, just because my bf's mother is preparing to die horribly doesn't mean I can't blather about my feelings on the matter. But I will at least spare you and ( put it behind a cut. )

My SO's and I are getting in a kind of feedback loop of stress and crankiness these last few days. We're all still making the effort to be loving and supportive, but at the same time little things are getting us all snappy and stressed that normally wouldn't.

*sigh* Lets look at some more adorable fuzzy things, shall we?

Things are still not moving forward with negotiations. The second seller also only came down to 97K, and also doesn't sound like they're interested in coming much further. We're counter offering 94, hopefully we will find out tomorrow if they will come down. If not, we will have to decide whether to get preapproved for a higher amount, or to go back and look more closely at cheaper houses.

I'm really surprised things are turning out this way. People I know who are putting properties on the market are listing them at 10K more than they expect to get, to give them room to negotiate, and very nice, well priced houses are sitting on the market for half a year or more. Even our realtor was pretty surprised they are being so inflexible, though she did say the asking prices are pretty close to the actual values.

So things are still up in the air, and may not be resolved as quickly as I had hoped. *sigh*

So the seller came down to $97K and wouldn't go any further. The house may be actually worth that, but Peter and I weren't comfortable agreeing to more than we'd been preapproved for, so we're making an offer on Euclid to see if they will go lower. If not, we'll just end up paying more, I guess. We didn't really like the rest of the houses quite enough to leave these two over a few thousand dollars, but it still sucks.

This is the time when trusting your realtor is most important and most difficult. She's handling the communication with the seller, but she has a personal financial interest in getting you to spend the most you're willing to spend.

So... yeah. I'll be glad when this part is over.

In lenten news, the sexiest thing that happened to me yesterday was a marachino cake made for Peter by one of our coworkers (as a thank you for a shift swap). But it was some damn good cake. I'll be back on the ball (erm, so to speak) tonight with the journey of sexual discovery.

Finally, random question: are any of you guys watching Dollhouse? If so, do you like it?

Peter and I do, but I'm seeing that lots of people, even Whedon fans, really don't. I'm curious to hear other people's reactions.

We celebrated Peter's 30th birthday with his parents today (his actual birthday is Monday.). After dinner and cake, his mother pulled him aside to tell him that inoperable tumors had been found throughout her torso. She goes in this week to do a biopsy confirm and then begins chemotherapy.

I think he's in shock right now. The only family he's lost up until now has been his dog Sam, which he took pretty hard. I wish there was something I could do to make it easier for him. It's extremely unexpected; no one in his family has had any kind of cancer, except one person's great uncle who had prostate cancer at 80 or something. She only started feeling bad over the last three months or so, and hadn't really talked about it to him, so it's very out of the blue.

Obviously, not so much with the sexy tonight. Looking at sexy cabinetry will have to do for today.

Today Peter and I, and my parents, and his dad and stepmom, all did final walkthroughs on the top houses. They pretty much confirmed our choices, though we did find out a few things we hadn't expected. The fireplace in the basement of Lombard isn't connected, and there isn't one on the main floor, we misremembered. But they've got a high efficiency furnace, which is nice. My stepmom pointed out that in one of the houses, the washer dryer hookups were in a place where the appliances would block the back door, so you could only open it halfway.

After we had looked at them, we went to Starbucks with Debbie (our agent) and filled out the offer paperwork. We gave a starting offer of $85K on the house on Lombard. The owner got it in 2005 for $89,900, and has put a bit of work into it since then. So she will probably come back with a counter offer somewhere in the 90's, but I don't know exactly what to expect. I'm hoping we'll end up close to $91K. She's got until Monday to give us the counter offer, but she's a real estate agent, and the house has been on the market since October, so I'm guessing she'll tell Debbie tonight or tomorrow what her counter is, and we could have a purchase agreement tomorrow, Tuesday at the latest.

I got to write the biggest check I've ever written, our 2K in earnest money for the offer.

So assuming the inspection doesn't turn up anything that needs fixed, we could close probably as soon as a week or two. Then there's the moving, and the bazillions of things we need for the house, and we still have to pay rent and utilities at the apartment through May.

I think I've got an inkling now of how people feel about their kids. Yes, we're getting into this thing that's going to sink all our time and money. But it's our thing, and I'm freaking ecstatic about it.

Even though I consider myself a Buddhist, I usually try to do something to observe lent. In past years, this has been a matter of exercising discipline for it's own sake. Since I don't do new years resolutions, Lent is often a convenient time for me to begin a plan of self improvement. But after several years of trying this, I've noticed a trend.

I suck at discipline.

In the last 6 years, I've probably made it through all 40 days practicing one of my goals twice. Most of them get dropped around the halfway mark. Last year I think it lasted a week. I still think I need to build discipline, but this Lent thing doesn't seem to be happening, so I'll try to think of other avenues to approach that from.

On the other hand, I was recently reading the blog of a woman who converted to Catholicism, who was previously an athiest. She had a post about lent that really opened my eyes. To her, the point of lent was to remind christians that they are not of this world. It was to make them uncomfortable, so as to remind them that their reward waits in heaven, not here. Eyes on the prize, so to speak.

And it occurred to me, I don't believe in heaven. I don't think there's anything necessarily waiting beyond that shadowy gate of death. I am of this world. So why not do something that gives me joy for 40 days? Something that rewards me in the here and now?

So today I'm starting my anti-lent. 40 days of enjoyment. And it wasn't hard to decide what joy had been missing from my life that I wanted to focus on. Though many of my college friends would be shocked to hear it, for the last year or two I have been chronically undersexed (the last couple weeks notwithstanding). This is primarily due to self-esteem issues, along with other factors (birth control, I'm looking at you). I've been so down about my appearance, that it's difficult to feel sexy. So every day, I'm going to do something that reinforces my feelings of sexiness, and helps me feel better about my body. It may not be intercourse every day, or even most days, but something. And I'm going to blog about it, so speak up now if you want an 'I can't know that!' filter.

Tangentially, I have a question for you all, but particularly the few progressive Christians (or Jesusists, as I like to call them) on my flist: Do you practice Lent, or something like it? What does it mean to you?

So, since my last post with links to houses, Peter and I have been driving all over creation (ok, the east side of E'ville) with our realtor. In the last two weeks, we've seen almost 30 houses. And I'd be totally thrilled to live in about half of them. But after weighing many pros and cons, we narrowed it down to four. Here they are, listed with what we considered the most important selling points (minus the things they all have, like newer floors and windows, etc.), and the price per square foot, based on asking price.

1927 Lombard - Partially finished basement, garage + extra parking space, washer/dryer included, flat range stove, beautiful cabinetry, great landscaping with large shade trees, nice deck, privacy fence, 2 fireplaces (one in basement). $65/sqft.

1920 Euclid - Garage, washer/dryer included, screened in back porch with patio furniture, beautiful landscaping with zen garden and arbor, nice crown molding and wainscotting, fireplace, privacy fence. $91/sqft.

2023 Powell - Garage, lots of extra parking, beautiful landscaping and large back patio, fireplace, privacy fence. $95/sqft.

2012 Clayton - partially finished basement, beautiful cabinetry, brand new kitchen appliances including flat range, very nicely decorated inside, exercise equipment included. $59/sqft.

I don't know if the sites really convey what the properties are like as well as they could. We looked at a lot of places that were gorgeous on the web, and really unimpressive in person, and vice versa.

This Saturday, we're going to take my parents out to see these four. My dad builds houses, so it's kind of a pre-inspection, to see if he spots anything that might affect our decision. Assuming he doesn't, then we will probably make an offer on Lombard that same day. This is going to be the nerve-wracking part for me. It's a buyer's market, so it makes sense to ask for the lowest imaginable price, but I can't help feel a little bad doing so. Each of these houses is obviously well loved and carefully maintained. And there's a possibility that some of these people are taking a loss. I think most of the asking prices under what the houses will appraise for.
That said, my best guess of what I would offer on Lombard would be 90K. Since they're offering 2K for closing costs, they will probably try to back up from that a bit, but I really don't have a strong sense of where we will end up. I don't have a clear idea of how the offer writing and haggling process goes.
Once they accept the offer and we write up a purchase agreement, we apply for the mortgage for real, and then a mysterious process begins. Things get inspected and appraised, lots of paperwork gets signed and lots of money changes hands.

And then we move. I can't wait.

I got my muff diving merit badge last night. Better late than never.

Thanks, hotarugirl!

I woke up from dreaming about houses yesterday. I'm fondling cabinetry in my sleep. We're dreaming up potential improvements we want to do, some of them a little out there. Peter wants solar panels. I want an organic/natural landscape yard (that still looks pretty).

We're approved for both a conventional and an FHA loan, both for more than we actually want to spend. That's one piece of anxiety down, plenty more to go around.

We take our first trip out with a realtor tomorrow morning. I got lots and lots of realtor recommendations, but we're probably going to stick with the family realtor, Debra Craft. She's already found some pretty amazing places I'm very excited about, and all on the low end of the price range I gave her.

Here are the ones on my visit list:

1367 Ravenswood
5021 Sweetser
2012 Clayton
1414 E Tennessee
2207 Washington
4201 Covert
1051 S Alvord
2812 S Vann
2216 E Walnut
1162 Vann
3108 Monroe
2508 Pollack
1614 Beckman
2509 Sweetser
1814 S Green River

It's a simple everyday thing, but I get giddy thinking about it. In just a month or two, one of these could be my house. Mine. And Peter's, of course.

One minor disappointment. When we found out how low our mortgage payments would likely be, Peter and I imagined that we would be flush with cash after the move, since we've been saving hardcore for the down payment. But I sat down to do my estimated future budget, and found that the added utilities are going to more than make up for the difference. Things will actually be much tighter than I expected. Bummer.

Oh, and little Hastur is growing up so fast! So he's also getting a new house. I knew exactly what I wanted, but I couldn't find it in any of our local pet stores. Fortunately , there's the internet. I just ordered the new habitat from Big Apple Pet Supply . I'll put some pics up once we get him moved in.
 

( I made it )

The weather here has been lousy. I hope, wherever you are, reading this, yours is better. Wednesday we couldn't get the car out at all, so our boss picked us up in his SUV and drove us in. About half the staff was missing or late. The snow is melting today, I hope the streets dry up a little before the sun goes down, so I'm not driving on a smooth sheet of ice tonight.

Peter and I applied for a mortgage from our credit union Friday night. Should have an answer Monday. His mom is a VP of lending at one of the largest banks in the area, but I doubt she'll be able to get us a better deal. She went with him to buy his car, and he ended up paying 3% more interest than I did on mine (and he has slightly better credit). She also set him up with CDs that perform worse than some savings accounts I've had. Anyway, I also wanted to apply with a broker, but I've heard bad things about lots of them. Anyone have a particularly good experience with one?

hotarugirl 's already gone online and found more than one house that's almost exactly what we're looking for, in approximately our price range, so hopefully we won't have too much trouble getting most of what we want in May.

For anyone who's curious, this is what we're looking for. ( cut for boring details )
Also, I'm seeking advice about what kinds of things we need to ask people for when we move in (or buy for ourselves). Things that people with houses use that people in apartments don't. Here's what we've come up with so far (this list also includes things right-thinking apartment dwellers ought to have that we don't): Kitchen towels and washcloths, lawnmower, weedeater, rake, snow shovel, rock salt, trash can(s), ladder/stepladder, picture hanging kit (level, anchored nails, etc), power tools of any kind. I'm sure I've forgotten something, I haven't lived in a house for about 7 years, and then I lived in ones that were taken care of by other people (namely, my parents).

Any other general new homeowner advice/info anyone has would be greatly appreciated. I'm gradually transitioning into the freakout period, where I'm sure something I haven't thought of is going to go horribly wrong and there will be tears and possible bloodshed.

I'm also very excited.

Oh, if anyone cared for an update on the status of my reproductive capabilities, ( you should get a life. Or click the cut to find out... )